Friday, September 5, 2008

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The New Man in My Life




This is Mr. Lix. Mr. Hot Lix to be exact. He's got celadon green eyes with diamond shaped irises. The kind of eyes that gave those long ago marbles their names. He has a Rorsarch Test on his hind legs. He has a stub tale with a crook in it.

He has found every dust bunny, every rattling invisible thing, every scrap of anything small that can slide, scoot or skitter across the floor.

Mr. Lix flexes his paws in the air, waving hello and I am sleepy and i'm making my bed on you. He licks my fingers and scrambles away sideways when he wants to tease me. He loves velcro and his belled mousie and his little felt mice, which he has begun to carry from place to place in his mouth between bouts of pouncing and batting it about.

Mr. Lix sleeps with me, curled up in my robe to the side, rumbling like a rolling boil and kneading himself to sleep. He waits for me to wake up in the morning, then trails me from room to room as I get ready for work. He is on the bed when I come home. He cries when I leave the room without his permission.

As another cat lover said to me - "It's nice to have a friend to come home to."



Monday, August 11, 2008

Be on the look out


Saturday night I went to the first Neighborhood Watch meeting for our little scoop of the County where I live. The sheriff was of course there (it is after all, an election year) and so was the newly elected county commissioner, serving out the term of his deceased predecessor and knowing he has to win it again in about 85 days. I brought my trusty FinePix S700 and got plenty of short shorts of the scene, from the 14 year old, red-headed scourge of the neighborhood being escorted out by said Sheriff for a “talk”, after he uttered an obscenity in front of all the old folk, to one of our neighborhood commandos (I easily picture him in the movie Tremors) boasting about his forays through the brush with his binoculars and his video camera. Then there is the lady who wants to know if she can shoot someone if she catches them slashing her tires, though later admitting she has nothing but a BB gun.


It’s all brought on, you see, by the murders of two of our own – by four of their own.

See, nobody wants to blame the victim, but the fact of the matter is that a man and a woman were beaten and kicked to death in their own home, in the early evening of a Friday a while back, by a gang of boys who had shared the hospitality of this couple for quite some time. The kids were provided with alcohol and smokes, a contribution, as it were, to the delinquency of the minors. So when the boys (ranging in age from 13 to 21) wanted a little spending money, they knew just where to get it and they decided to do just that. I won’t go into the intricacies of the plan, or the how and in what manner the perpetrators were apprehended, and the stupid things they did before they were caught, but they were caught and are being tried as adults.

An investigator reported that they were children with “dead” eyes, who may as well have been describing a trip to Wal-mart for all the emotion involved in a tale involving some of the most vicious behavior seen this neighborhood since Desegregation. The eldest boy was on Parole and was banned from the county, had been reported, and yet here he was. The youngest was a throw-away child. He would be dropped in the middle of the Lakes with a hand full of money. He was on his own, while his parents drank and whored around and smoked crack. His mother narrowly skirted being arrested on many occasions by turning in the very people she partied with.


The shock waves that these murders have created in this seemingly abandoned subdivision (which is populated heavily with the elderly and the poor and society’s leavings) have galvanized into action the small handful of more able citizens who choose to live here, the ones with 9-5 jobs who commute and pay taxes and try to keep body and soul together in these undeniably difficult economic times. Someone makes some signs, adds some refreshments (chips and cookies and sodas), sets out the folding chairs and by cracky you got yourself a town meeting.


Strangely enough, it was a taunt from the commando, at the “get to know your candidate” meeting, that got my attention. I admit to being shallow (as well as vain) and had never envisioned myself owning property in the Lakes, much less joining an organization that was going to expect me to actually do something. But this man said “Stop hiding in your houses and get out here and do something!”


At first I smirked. Who the hell was he to tell me to do anything? With his trailer trash wife, both with babies on their hips. Loud, overbearing, tobacco spitting, red-necking know it alls - setting out in monotonous detail every wrong ever committed against them by the ruffians in the neighborhood. Then I started thinking about it.

Just what the hell was I going to do about it? Hide in my house with my firearms spread about me like Dirty Harriet? Peer out the windows in fear at the sound of every sweetgum ball hitting my roof? Every squirrel wreaking havoc at the bird feeder? Not my style. I like to be able to walk at night, I like to be able to sit with my door open or leave my windows open. I have seen these “children” on the streets at all hours of the night. I remember trying to raise my own son when I lived across the fence from the Lakes. I was terrified of their influence, their boldness, their vacant faces. At that time they were merely stealing CD players from cars, shoplifting cigarettes and setting fire to the occasional abandoned shed (yeah, my kid was in on that one). Now they have graduated to murder as easily as passing from first to second grade. And this is where I plan to live for the rest of my life. So I joined the neighborhood watch.


On the way home I passed the little red-headed kid who had been removed from the meeting. There was a group of small children playing on the corner, in their yard, in the twilight. Their dogs were romping and barking and the children were shrieking with delight, chasing fireflies in the unseasonable coolness. As I drove slowly past, trying hard not to hit anything or anybody, I heard him say to the children: “I’m going to kill your dog” as conversationally as “Hi, how are ya?”

We have much to do.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Saturday, July 26, 2008

breakfast of champions

none of this is prob'ly true



Went walking with my friend Bill, the carpenter today, down by Horseshoe Lake. I wanted to take some pictures before it got too hot. We were in Ms. Runette's yard. The old lady lives in a retirement home and folks come every so often to cut the grass and pick the blueberries. A path winds along the lake front and we walk it, looking for photo-ops.

Bill's's been borrowing books from a set of crime encyclopedias I have had forever, one of those Time Life things. It's an alphabetized listing of all nefarious things ever, from Abduction (The Lindburgh Baby) and Fatty Arbuckle to Emelio Zapata and Women Who Kill and all dark hearted individuals in between, ending sometime in 1997, when I stopped getting the yearbooks. That last one I got covered Kevorkian and Susan Smith and the tragedy at Waco.

Anyway, I digress. I was trying to catch a turtle or a muskrat or something on 'film', when my friend starts talking about William the Conqueror (now somewhere in the back of my mind I remember him telling me he was a descendant of William the Conquerer, which would explain a lot where he's concerned, but that is a whole 'nother set of stories). I am often surprised at the extent of his interest in and knowledge of things other than contractor stuff and HBO.

Apparently, William the Conqueror was the most brutal ruler ever back in the whenever time of Normandy and the invasion of England and all kinds of Anglo-Saxon agony I had to learn about in high school and promptly forgot as soon I pulled down my anxiety driven C on the subject. He was the last person to invade England completely. He was King William the I. He was vindictive and surly and greedy. And apparently not the same ancestry as the people he was invading.

So the carpenter tells me that mean ole William's last name was Ballou (or at least that is the way I heard it) and because the Anglo-Saxons hated his guts and would never follow a leader with a French name, he changed it to Bellows and hence the legacy I am presented with here today as I try to snap a picture of a fish furling in the shallows, without falling into the lake or busting my ass on these rolling sweet gum balls. The fish leaves a trail of silty bubbles among the frog eggs and rotting water hyacinth and I get a picture of nothing but mud. Our neighbor has poisoned the hyacinth in the pond, which, though it is beautiful, it is as invasive as kudzu and would choke the lake and all its sisters if it were allowed to continue. This too is another story

Pause. Bees bumble through a neglected border of tiny flowers growing along a row of abandoned flower pots. Someone told me the lady that owned the house has a kiln inside.

"They killed him anyway," says the carpenter matter-of-factly. "Didn't do him a damned bit of good."

I thought this was a particularly good ending to the story. Never thought it would be a work of fiction - I mean, c'mon? He's is always calling himself simple.


Now that I think about it, I remember him telling me how his grandmother and grandfather went to England and traced the heritage back to ole William. Seems they bought this terrifically expensive Sheltie that was a direct descendent of the Conqueror's dog. Turns out the thing was more hyper than a Jack Russell.

So, you know, I wanted to spell that last name correctly before I started talking about it anywhere so I looked the dude up. Turns out he didn't even have a last name as far as I could tell. He was William of Normandy, but earlier in life he was William the Bastard 'cause his daddy was the Earl of Whatever and his mother was a scullery maid or little match girl or something. He knocked off his enemies before he ever started on England. He did have a half brother named Oda or something like that, who ended up being the Bishop of Bayeux, who commissioned a tapestry to be made memorializing the adventures of his half brother. There are Bayeux tapestries for sale on the internet today.

As far as the peasants rising up and slaying their dragon? William fell off his horse all by himself, with no help from the local populace. He suffered fatal abdominal injuries from contact with the pommel of his saddle. On his deathbed he remained the total son of a bitch he had always been, splitting up the kingdom between his sons in such a manner as to cause contention for many years.

Personally, I like the carpenter's story better.